What to do?
Well inspired to start a blog by the girl with the one track mind (not that this has a siniliar content). I thought it could be something new and interesting to start.

My life has been turned upside down in the last six months. At 26 I got married 3 years ago to the man I met at uni when I was 18. We spent 8 years together then I cheated on him. Not what you would call an affair but just some amazing sex with someone at work. There was no emotion involved and it wasn't gonna go anywhere but it made me realise that I just wasn't happy in my marriage and that the spark had gone.

So we tried counselling and then after a couple of months we realised that it wasn't gonna change so we split up.

But then just as I thought my life couldn't get complicated enough I got involved with a married man. So in my job I work away during the week and we all live in a complex together. We started off just trapping at the end of a drunken night then it become more regular. At first it was just shagging, then we'd slip back to our own rooms then we started spending the whole night with each other. It became more effectionate. I never realy kidded myself that I was just fucking the guy - I knew I was falling for him despite the fact that I had only just left my husband.

I knew it would end eventually so I just decided to carry on and enjoy the sex. Which I have to say was fantastic. I had never met a man who could have sex 5 times in one night and enjoy pleasuring me so much! But then it started to change and he started to fall in love with me. When we were apart at the weekends he would sneak around to call and txt me. He lives only half a mile away from me and would sneak over to see me. Great for me initially but i knew that I would have to make a decision at some point and end it because I didn't want to be the other women for the rest of my life.

Then over Christmas he was skiing with his family and phoned me constantly, telling me he loved me and that he was miserable without me. On his last night away he phoned me from the bar and his wife came down - he was drunk and didn't hang up. I could hear the fight and her struggling to take the phone from him. I just told him to go and talk to her.

I should explain at this point that his wife knows I exist. He has told her that he wasn't happy at home and that he was having feelings for someone else and knowing that I was someone at work it wasn't hard for her to put 2 and 2 together.

The next morning the day of his return I got a txt saying that he was going to walk when he got home. He came round that night - desperate to see me because he had missed me so much but he hadn't walked, he just couldn't up and leave without really talking to her.

For the next week before we returned to work he struggled to decide what to do - whilst continuing to come and see me each day. Back at work we have been together and been happy but now I know I have to do something because I cannot continue as we are. I love him and know he loves me but I feel like I am not giving him the chance to work on his marriage while I am in the picture. How do I end it with someone I love to carry on his life where I know he isn't happy?

Having left my husband I am struggling to make my own life - I feel lonely at the weekends and live for the weeks when I am with him. I am scared of losing the one thing that makes me so happy at the moment and so miserable at the same time.